Support the Café

Search our Site

When kids bring up same-sex marriage

When kids bring up same-sex marriage

Lee Rose Emery writes for CNN about how it’s in the car that her children enter the deep conversations:

“The most important thing about marriage,” I told my kids when the subject came up, “is that you pick someone who is kind, and who really loves you.”

My son (then 6) replied, “Then I would definitely NOT marry John (his friend who punches.) My older daughter (then 8) said, “Boys can’t marry boys,” to which my son responded, “But Noah has two dads!”

Emery found herself unsure as to how to proceed, assuming this was about “the birds and the bees.” She sought advice from a number of sources on the subject, including Noah’s two dads.

There were a lot of interesting and mostly helpful responses from the group of people. Multiple people in the article remark on how adults often jump to the question of sex, when more often than not it is really about family and difference.

Emery also talked with “parenting expert” Betsy Brown Braun, who articulated not only what’s at stake, but why parents get uncomfortable:

“There is nothing loaded about this for kids…it is loaded for parents, as it challenges our ability to discuss our own feelings…we are all victims of the attitudes and worlds in which we were raised.”

Braun says how parents approach the topic of difference and how they communicate that to their children will either teach them to accept difference or not.


Café Comments?

Our comment policy requires that you use your real first and last names and provide an email address (your email will not be published). Comments that use non-PG rated language, include personal attacks, that are not provable as fact or that we deem in any way to be counter to our mission of fostering respectful dialogue will not be posted.

Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

What a great mom, Kit. You must miss her a lot. [What year was this, approx?]

JC Fisher

Kit Tobin

My parents went on vacation, leaving five of us (5,7&9) at our home with their friends Rod & Jack. After Mom returned, I asked her why, when they are so nice, they aren’t married, why don’t they have wives?

Her response “Because they love and are committed to each other. Sometimes a man and a woman, like Dad and I, love each other enough to spend our life together, sometimes two men or two women love each other enough to spend their life together.” Full explanation at our ages – no further questions.

Not an unusual response – hopefully – today, but if my mother were still alive she would be 105. It was many years before I began to realize the blessing she gave us that day.

Benedict Varnum

Great bit of language in your first sentence, Clint! I’m going to “borrow” that!

I also loved the stories shared.

Clint Davis

Too bad most churches see marriage as God-sanctioned sex. Say a few words, have the right plumbing, you get to have sex now, yay! Bake a big cake, buy an otherwise inappropriate dress! Take an expensive trip! Yay! OH NOES, they’re having sex and didn’t get us all involved, BOO!!!

Ridiculous. Divorce marriage from sex NOW. It is the God’s honest truth that a sexual encounter is no longer the most intimate, two-becoming-one event that it was in ages past. First take lots of time to discern what, in this day and age, makes two into one, then craft marriage as an institution in response to that.

Kurt Wiesner

So I guess we still have some gender issues to work on after all!

That’s really funny Judy.

Support the Café
Past Posts

The Episcopal Café seeks to be an independent voice, reporting and reflecting on the Episcopal Church and the Anglican tradition.  The Café is not a platform of advocacy, but it does aim to tell the story of the church from the perspective of Progressive Christianity.  Our collective sympathy, as the Café, lies with the project of widening the circle of inclusion within the church and empowering all the baptized for the role to which they have been called as followers of Christ.

The opinions expressed at the Café are those of individual contributors, and, unless otherwise noted, should not be interpreted as official statements of a parish, diocese or other organization. The art and articles that appear here remain the property of their creators.

All Content  © 2017 Episcopal Café