Support the Café

Search our Site

“Let’s talk about Anna” post goes viral

“Let’s talk about Anna” post goes viral

A post by a mother with empathy on fire has gone viral after she wrote,

I know everybody is laughing about this Josh Duggar story. Oh, a DUGGAR on Ashley Madison, it’s so rich! I wish more people would talk about Anna.

kirkland fb

Anna Duggar is the wife of Josh Duggar, famous for his part in TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting, made infamous in May after revelations that he had molested female children, including his own sisters, as a teenager in the Duggar home. Last week, Duggar became the “first outed celebrity” in the Ashley Madison data dump, according to the New Yorker. The Ashley Madison website is a niche dating tool designed to enable extra-marital affairs.

In the New Yorker article, Andrea Denhoed observes,

The flip side of the strict sexual prohibitions in the culture to which the Duggars belong is a belief, sometimes bordering on the prurient, in the unbridled nature of male sexuality. Men are often portrayed as sexually ravenous, constantly on the edge of losing control of their libidos. Women, meanwhile, are generally seen as guardians of purity who must not stoke men’s passions.

And on the flip side of that is where Jessica Krammes Kirkland came in with her concern for Josh’s wife, Anna.

Let me tell you: Anna Duggar is in the worst position she could possibly be in right now. Anna Duggar was crippled by her parents by receiving no education, having no work experience (or life experience, for that matter) and then was shackled to this loser because his family was famous in their religious circle. Anna Duggar was taught that her sole purpose in life, the most meaningful thing she could do, was to be chaste and proper, a devout wife, and a mother. Anna Duggar did that! Anna Duggar followed the rules that were imposed on her from the get-go and this is what she got in reward- a husband who she found out, in the span of 6 months, not only molested his own sisters, but was unfaithful to her in the most humiliating way possible…. She lived up to the standard that men set for her of being chaste and Godly and in return, the man who demanded this of her sought women who were the opposite. “Be this,” they told her. She was. It wasn’t enough.

Kirkland ends her post:

As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they breathe fire.

Does your church raise its daughters to think they breathe fire?


Café Comments?

Our comment policy requires that you use your real first and last names and provide an email address (your email will not be published). Comments that use non-PG rated language, include personal attacks, that are not provable as fact or that we deem in any way to be counter to our mission of fostering respectful dialogue will not be posted.

Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Leslie Marshall

Christians struggle with sexual immorality as much as non believers do. Unfortunately sexual immorality is accepted by main stream America…even though it’s destructive in every way. Anna Dugger is in the same position of all wives who are betrayed by their husbands, regardless of her level of education, or her religious beliefs. The Bible allows divorce in the case of adultery. I hope Anna divorces him asap and keeps her children away from him until they’re 18.

carolyn peet

It seems we are speaking past each other, and I am apparently unable to clearly articulate my point, so I will leave this to you.

carolyn peet

Then shall we ask Anna Duggar how she feels about her role as wife and mother? Do you see my point? We’re so quick to wag our fingers at the Duggars, and so quick to jump to the defense of the Muslims. I’m just wondering why that is.

David Streever

I think it’s because we have a much better understanding of the cultural context that the Duggars live in.

What confuses me is why you can’t speak plainly on the topic, and instead introduce a digression (“What about the Muslims?”). Typically, a debate of ideas is about the idea itself; if one doesn’t think that their are problems in the Duggar family, one should state so, clearly, with their supporting evidence and opinions.

The second problem is that you refer to 1.5 billion people as a solitary culture; it makes others a bit defensive in their response to you. I don’t know where you’re going to go with your comments, and I feel leery about engaging at all, because it’s such a simplification, and so often used to demonize or denigrate other people. We’re talking about a few individuals who lived their life in front of a tv screen and on a stage; you’re casually referring to 1.5 billion people who may or may not have had a chance to share their own perspective.

1.5 billion people living on every continent, under completely different governments, and with incredibly varied cultures, histories, and theology. Do you think a member of the Kochi tribe (nomadic followers of Islam in Afghanistan) thinks the same things, follows the same rules, and lives the same life as a Muslim living in Indonesia?

There is a huge semantic difference between talking about individuals in our own culture–particularly individuals who live in the public eye, and present as role models for our society–and broadly generalizing the lives, needs, and thoughts of 1.5 billion people mostly living in different nations, cultures, and societies from our own.


This was perfect. Thank you for an excellent, respectful, educated response.

[Dear G: please sign your name when you comment- first and last. Thanks editor]

Susan Yarborough

Please do not stereotype Muslims in this way. I have taught Muslims and members of my family work with them every day. The images of so-called fundamentalist Islam coming out of the Middle East that dominate American media are not representative of Muslim attitudes as a whole. They are not even representative of the countries from which those images are taken. Why can’t we understand that Islam is as varied as Christianity? If there is one conclusion to draw from the Duggar story and the ISIL story, it is that religious fundamentalism of any variety is not good for women.

Carolyn Peet

I’ll take your word for it, but could you please explain the women’s attire that covers them head-to-toe? And the rule that they must not leave their house without a male relative?
And perhaps we should follow your advice and not stereotype fundamental Christians based on a few misguided souls that make it to the nightly news. After all, I know some fundies who are fine, upstanding, even humorous people.

David Streever

You should ask some Muslim women how they feel about their hijabs; I know several who wear them for themselves & feel empowered, and several who feel that the hijab is sexist.

I don’t think either group is wrong.

I find it interesting that there have been many women who held the highest political offices in nations that are majority Muslim. I think it’s definitely more complex than just a simple ‘they are more or less sexist than we are’.

Carolyn Peet

“The flip side of the strict sexual prohibitions in the culture to which the Duggars belong is a belief, sometimes bordering on the prurient, in the unbridled nature of male sexuality. Men are often portrayed as sexually ravenous, constantly on the edge of losing control of their libidos. Women, meanwhile, are generally seen as guardians of purity who must not stoke men’s passions.”

This description is exactly how the Muslims view men and women. And a whole lot of Muslim women suffer badly because of it. So let’s don’t pretend it’s only in fringe Christianity.

Support the Café
Past Posts

The Episcopal Café seeks to be an independent voice, reporting and reflecting on the Episcopal Church and the Anglican tradition.  The Café is not a platform of advocacy, but it does aim to tell the story of the church from the perspective of Progressive Christianity.  Our collective sympathy, as the Café, lies with the project of widening the circle of inclusion within the church and empowering all the baptized for the role to which they have been called as followers of Christ.

The opinions expressed at the Café are those of individual contributors, and, unless otherwise noted, should not be interpreted as official statements of a parish, diocese or other organization. The art and articles that appear here remain the property of their creators.

All Content  © 2017 Episcopal Café