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“I have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now”

“I have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now”

A reflection on John 16:1-15

Daily Office Readings for Friday, April 9, 2021: AM Psalm 136; PM Psalm 118; Dan. 12:1-4,13; Acts 4:1-12 / 1 Cor. 15:51-58; John 16:1-15 

Image: Caption:  A vibrant night sky over Muskoka, Ontario, photographed by Michael J. Bennett, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” 

How could he even begin to say

to the ones he loved the most

the horrors and the joys

of the road set before them all?

If they knew the days ahead

They might choose not to bear them

or craft an alternative ending

that thwarts the possibility of eternal life.

And so he kept quiet

knowing that they could only come back to him

through their own lived experiences.


I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” 

In the oncologist’s office,

no one ever hears a single word 

once the phrase “You have cancer” hangs in the air.

How could she ever know,

in those days of vomiting and utter fatigue

that 20 years from now

she would stride a high school track in a “survivor” t-shirt, 

her bright New Balance shoes

glittering in the sun

smelling the crispness of the breeze

and being the one those who have just started the journey

Now look to with hope.


I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” 

In the darkest night of his soul,

a night that he felt could only end in the end of all he knew to be him

How could he ever know

That a single incoming phone call

Had the power to take the muzzle of his pistol

away from his right temple,

unload it,

put it away,

and make another phone call

that began a long pilgrimage back towards the light.


How could any of us ever know

those times the Advocate was fully present,

if the only suitable outcomes in our lives that counted

were wholly composed of  the things we scripted?


Maria Evans splits her week between being a pathologist and laboratory director in Kirksville, MO, and gratefully serving in the Episcopal Diocese of Missouri , as the Interim Pastor at Christ Episcopal Church, Rolla, MO. 



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Patricia Kincaid

Ah, yes, the moment of clarity, accepting His presence, so sweet. Thank you, amen.

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