Support the Café

Search our Site

Daring to Pray

Daring to Pray

Matthew 9:18-26

She touched the fringe of his cloak.  For she said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak I will be made well.”

– Matthew 9:21

I have a friend named Jan who has a hard time praying.  She says that she doesn’t like to put herself forward with God, because surely God has better things to do than listen to her prattle on about her problems.  She seems so secure and self-sufficient, but in a little corner of my heart I wonder.  Does she believe herself to be of no account, as though God does not crave her attention and conversation, as though God does not yearn to speak to her?

I had a dream once in which God leaned close, smelling my hair, much as I used to bury my nose in the hair of my children when they sat on my lap, to catch and treasure that unique scent that was such a part of them.  It was startling and unsettling, this being seen when I thought I was invisible.

Jan is not so easily convinced.  She calls it maudlin poppycock.  Get on with your life, she tells me.  Do something useful.

The hemorrhaging woman, who would have been treated as something vile by her community, especially her spiritual community, who would have been warned that touching anyone, even by accident, would make them unclean – this loathed and shunned woman dares a secret prayer.  She reaches out for Jesus’ cloak.  She must have been terrified.

This is my life, I tell Jan – this reaching out with the hand that has been rejected, this risk.  I dare an open moment, an expectant silence.  I dare to believe that I matter, that God has many things that God would say to me.  I dare to believe that God yearns to say them.

I dare to have faith, the faith that I will – always – be healed.




Café Comments?

Our comment policy requires that you use your real first and last names and provide an email address (your email will not be published). Comments that use non-PG rated language, include personal attacks, that are not provable as fact or that we deem in any way to be counter to our mission of fostering respectful dialogue will not be posted.

Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

[Catie– please sign your first and last name as per our guidelines, thanks ed.]

I am Jan. Not really but we have this thing in common which is that it’s so hard to trust a personal God. It’s easiest on Sunday and everyone of the 7 days until the next Sunday, it gets more diffficult. I need communion to believe and music and passing the Peace. But I continue to pray.

Kevin McGrane Sr.

I think the essence of prayer is to be vulnerable and healed. And changed. My compliments on your brief essay!

-Kevin McGrane Sr.

Support the Café
Past Posts

The Episcopal Café seeks to be an independent voice, reporting and reflecting on the Episcopal Church and the Anglican tradition.  The Café is not a platform of advocacy, but it does aim to tell the story of the church from the perspective of Progressive Christianity.  Our collective sympathy, as the Café, lies with the project of widening the circle of inclusion within the church and empowering all the baptized for the role to which they have been called as followers of Christ.

The opinions expressed at the Café are those of individual contributors, and, unless otherwise noted, should not be interpreted as official statements of a parish, diocese or other organization. The art and articles that appear here remain the property of their creators.

All Content  © 2017 Episcopal Café