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Church Profiles Explained

Church Profiles Explained

The Episcopal Cafe team has been enjoying this recent post at The Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley, which provices a (mostly) tongue-in-cheek guide to church profile euphemisms. Some excerpts:

Affirming Catholic: We’re very keen on everything. And very affirming. We affirm lots of things. In a very gentle, affirming way. Not too specific. More kind of Affirming Fuzziness.

Dignified worship: No children.

Liturgical renewal: At the cutting edge since 9am, sometime in 1950.

Modern Catholic: You might think “electric guitars and loads of incense”. You might be disappointed.

Strong choral tradition: The organist is in control. The organist has always been in control. The organist will always be in control. The organist has sign-off on the Church Profile.

Read the entire blog here.

Any you’d care to add?

Posted by Cara Ellen Modisett


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Emily Windsor

Activist — S/he tries to organize people into cooperative groups for everything but the Service.

Theoretical — Takes prophecy (or exegesis or Hierarchy or authority or charisma) to the limit of peoples’ endurance. Nit-picker.

George A. Bennett

‘AA , Boy Scouts, Yoga–meets here.’ — (no bible study)

Philip Snyder

“Gifted Preaching/Teaching” – our preacher/teacher is gifted, just not in preaching and/or teaching. 🙂

John Miller

Welcoming – every church I ever encountered that had to tell me it was “welcoming” struggled with the 9th commandment and wasn’t so hot on the whole “Love your neighbor” thing either.

Philip Snyder

Outwardly focused – we have one or two members/staff who serve at a shelter or school.

Anglo-…. – we pick and choose the tradition which we follow and then consider everyone else to be wrong on Tradition.

Conservative – We never found an innovation that we liked. Someone suggested we change the time of the service once. Once.

Progressive – We never found an innovation that we didn’t like – except if that innovation was going back to an older idea.

Multi-cultural – we have one or two families that aren’t white.

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