The Episcopal Cafe team has been enjoying this recent post at The Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley, which provices a (mostly) tongue-in-cheek guide to church profile euphemisms. Some excerpts:
Affirming Catholic: We’re very keen on everything. And very affirming. We affirm lots of things. In a very gentle, affirming way. Not too specific. More kind of Affirming Fuzziness.
Dignified worship: No children.
Liturgical renewal: At the cutting edge since 9am, sometime in 1950.
Modern Catholic: You might think “electric guitars and loads of incense”. You might be disappointed.
Strong choral tradition: The organist is in control. The organist has always been in control. The organist will always be in control. The organist has sign-off on the Church Profile.
Read the entire blog here.
Any you’d care to add?
Posted by Cara Ellen Modisett
All Content  © 2017 Episcopal Café
Activist — S/he tries to organize people into cooperative groups for everything but the Service.
Theoretical — Takes prophecy (or exegesis or Hierarchy or authority or charisma) to the limit of peoples’ endurance. Nit-picker.
‘AA , Boy Scouts, Yoga–meets here.’ — (no bible study)
“Gifted Preaching/Teaching” – our preacher/teacher is gifted, just not in preaching and/or teaching. 🙂
Welcoming – every church I ever encountered that had to tell me it was “welcoming” struggled with the 9th commandment and wasn’t so hot on the whole “Love your neighbor” thing either.
Outwardly focused – we have one or two members/staff who serve at a shelter or school.
Anglo-…. – we pick and choose the tradition which we follow and then consider everyone else to be wrong on Tradition.
Conservative – We never found an innovation that we liked. Someone suggested we change the time of the service once. Once.
Progressive – We never found an innovation that we didn’t like – except if that innovation was going back to an older idea.
Multi-cultural – we have one or two families that aren’t white.