2020_010_A
Support the Café
Search our site

Christians unite! These marathoners must be stopped

Christians unite! These marathoners must be stopped

Writing for Religion Dispatches, Sarah Morice-Brubaker argues that as citizens we have a perfect right to tell other citizens what to do with their bodies, especially if what they are doing goes against God’s design, and is likely to cost us money.


Which is why the nation must unite against the scourge of … marathon running.

What about those of us who have all the right ideas about how other people should use their bodies? Should we allow huge numbers of other people to do improper things with their bodies, especially when we might end up indirectly paying for it?

I say no. This is why I hope you will join me in support of God’s Design For Walking.

For there is a scourge of marathon-running in this country.

How do I know that marathon-running is not something you should be doing with your body? I mean, it’s only, like, TOTALLY OBVIOUS and available to be read off of reality as such. But, fine, I’ll spell it out:

1. Human bodies were not designed by God to run marathons. Just look at all the health problems that come from running marathons: knee problems, plantar fasciitis, collapsed arches. The claim that it’s somehow about health is clearly a lie.

2. It’s hard to talk while you’re running. We all know communication is vitally important for a healthy marriage.

3. There’s a heavy dose of misogyny inherent in marathon-running. The female bosom provides sustenance to a child, and is a source of delight between a woman and her husband. Now, let’s think about what running does to a lady’s, ahem, front mezzanine area. I mean: sports bras? If you have to buy a special garment in order to indulge your running hobby, shouldn’t that be a clue that you’re doing something contrary to nature? Walking cooperates with the beautiful purpose of your female form, where marathon-running says “Take that! And that! And that!” Marathon runners, why do you insist on pathologizing women’s bodies?

Dislike (0)
Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmail

Café Comments?

Our comment policy requires that you use your real first and last names and provide an email address (your email will not be published). Comments that use non-PG rated language, include personal attacks, that are not provable as fact or that we deem in any way to be counter to our mission of fostering respectful dialogue will not be posted.

Facebooktwitterrss
Support the Café
Past Posts
2020_010

The Episcopal Café seeks to be an independent voice, reporting and reflecting on the Episcopal Church and the Anglican tradition.  The Café is not a platform of advocacy, but it does aim to tell the story of the church from the perspective of Progressive Christianity.  Our collective sympathy, as the Café, lies with the project of widening the circle of inclusion within the church and empowering all the baptized for the role to which they have been called as followers of Christ.

The opinions expressed at the Café are those of individual contributors, and, unless otherwise noted, should not be interpreted as official statements of a parish, diocese or other organization. The art and articles that appear here remain the property of their creators.

All Content  © 2017 Episcopal Café