Can you hear the exasperation in my voice?
Do you feel the deep breaths I’m taking so I don’t lose my patience?
Do you see me going from here to there and back again?
Can you keep track of how many tabs are open in my browser?
Do you feel the aches in my bones from standing at the counter prepping dinner and washing dishes?
Do you see me looking longingly towards the bed as I pass it with each basket of laundry?
Do you see the number of times I’m cleaning noses, diapers, and spills?
Can you count how many cheerios are on the floor and stuck in couch cushions?
Do you know how many meetings I’ve attended in person and virtually?
Can you see the emails accruing one after another?
Do you see me mindlessly scrolling and refreshing the news?
Do you understand my worry for the days ahead?
God, in these moments of unrest, keep me coming back to you.
I hear you calling to me – come and rest.
I hear you speaking my name – you are my beloved.
I hear you welcoming me – “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened.” (Mt. 11: 28, NIV)
So I stop and listen for a moment.
I take a deep breath.
I feel the wind at my face.
I hear the rustle of leaves.
I smell freshly cut grass.
I see the clouds beginning to break and the sun shining through.
I hear your voice over and over.
It never left me.
It’s always been there.
And will always be calling me back.
You are loved, you are loved, you are loved.
You are enough, you are enough, you are enough.
Come and know I am with you, always.
Kimberly Knowle-Zeller is an ordained ELCA pastor, mother of two, and spouse of an ELCA pastor. She lives with her family in Cole Camp, MO. You can read more at her website, follow her work on Facebook, or sign up for her monthly newsletter.