So you finally learned to play the guitar and now you’re wondering, “How do I write a truly awful worship song?”
You’ve come to the right place my friend. Here are some sure fire ways to write a truly horrible worship song.
Recycle A Love Song.
Write a song for your girlfriend. When she breaks up with you, convert it into a worship song. Be sure to change all uses of “girl” or “baby”.
Use Time Tested Rhymes.
Make sure that you rhyme “love” and “above” at least twice. The song becomes doubly awful if you can also incorporate the word “dove”. Example: “You sent your love from above, makes my heart feel like a pure white dove.” You get the point.
Read about his other suggestions including:
Be Vague About Your Theology
Make the Song All About You
Be Incredibly Poetic
Use Well-Worn Musical Progressions
Defend Your Song Like It’s Your Firstborn Child
What else would you add to the list?