In light of the aftermath of Proposition 8, we thought you would enjoy this column from The Onion (hint to the humor-impaired: this is satire):

Everybody has this image of "crazy Christians" based on what they hear in the media, but it's just not true. Most Christians are normal, decent folks. We don't all blindly follow a bunch of outdated biblical tenets or go all fanatical about every bit of dogma. What I'm trying to say is, don't let the actions of a vocal few color your perceptions about what the majority of us are like.

. . .

I'm here to tell you there are lots of Christians who aren't anything like the preconceived notions you may have. We're not all into "turning the other cheek." We don't spend our days committing random acts of kindness for no credit. And although we believe that the moral precepts in the Book of Leviticus are the infallible word of God, it doesn't mean we're all obsessed with extremist notions like "righteousness" and "justice."

My faith in the Lord is about the pure, simple values: raising children right, saying grace at the table, strictly forbidding those who are Methodists or Presbyterians from receiving communion because their beliefs are heresies, and curing homosexuals. That's all. Just the core beliefs. You won't see me going on some frothy-mouthed tirade about being a comfort to the downtrodden.

. . .

Now, granted, there are some Christians on the lunatic fringe who take their beliefs a little too far. Take my coworker Karen, for example. She's way off the deep end when it comes to religion: going down to the homeless shelter to volunteer once a month, donating money to the poor, visiting elderly shut-ins with the Meals on Wheels program—you name it!

But believe me, we're not all that way. The people in my church, for the most part, are perfectly ordinary Americans like you and me. They believe in the simple old-fashioned traditions—Christmas, Easter, the slow and deliberate takeover of more and more county school boards to get the political power necessary to ban evolution from textbooks statewide. That sort of thing.

Read it all here. Enjoy.

Elizabeth Kaeton tells us of a contest at Ship of Fools to condense the Lord's Prayer down to 160 characters or less.

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_ worldwide letter short_ge m_y bri_g _ h_lt to the __gli_an _rises if someo_e does_'t _ome up with _ew __ro_yms soo_.

We tip our h_t to Greg Griffith _t Sta_d Firm who h_s well __d truly s_ooped us on this bre_king story:

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The notes of a meeting at which the House of Bishops' Theology Committee discussed nominations to the secretive committee currently preparing a report on same-sex relationships have been leaked to Episcopal Café. While the list is partial and the members of the panel remain unknown, the document may offer insight into the bishops' thinking.

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The House of Bishops Theology Committee has retained Dwight K. Schrute to help screen candidates for the secret theology committee on same-sex marriage according to interview notes leaked to Episcopal Café. The interview subject is Pam Beesley, a receptionist at a fictitious mid-sized paper company in the Diocese of Bethlehem.

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Christian Pop Culture discusses the top wedding receptions songs. Here are their picks - what are yours?

5. The Chicken Dance: everyone actually flaps their arms to look like chickens.

4. Brick House: nobody even knows what it means but it’s fun to watch people “bust-a-move” on this one.

3. Love Shack: 40 year old women really dig this song and it’s pretty funny to watch...

2. Don’t Stop Believin': Everyone who doesn’t play guitar air jams to the guitar solo on this one.

1. Thriller: Choreographed dances are hilarious, particularly this one.

The Rev. Suzanne Guthrie, Edge of Enclosure has prepared a video just in time for General Convention.

Madpriest is running a caption contest for the picture found in yesterday's post on St. Francis day.

Here's the pic:

The one on the right is our very own Ann Fontaine.

Enter your caption here. It's easy, it's blogger.

In the swirling mix of reactions to the statement from the Vatican, there have been all kinds of responses from all quarters. Of course, the Cafe has done its part to stir the pot as well, hopefully in helpful ways. In the midst of it all, humor, and especially satire, can be an extremely helpful palate cleanser. Satirist Gregory Beyer "Delivers the Email You Can't Miss" courtesy of NPR.com.

Enjoy!

You've Got Mail: Greetings From Vatican City! by Stephen Beyer at NPR.org

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Trendwatchers beware: A UK-based group of atheists calling itself Post Rapture Pet Care will look after your domesticated animals once the eschaton is in full force.

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Eileen Taub imagines divine twittering back when it all began.

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Blogger Clayboy explains the offer by the Vatican to the Anglicans. Some excerpts:

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Tim Schenck blogging at Clergy Family Confidential has a new idea for preventing transmission of flu this season.

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And, predictably, Rowan has invited the Pope.

Not to get, err, overly cheeky, but we got lured into clicking on Simon Sarmiento's Saturday tweet and just had to share.

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Forgive her; she knows not what she does.

Lindsay Lohan thinks she knows how to rock the Jesus look. She sports a modest crown and sprawled arms in a crucifixion pose on the cover of the latest issue of Purple Fashion Magazine.

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David Walker noticed that there is a new twitter site for the Church of England called, and we are not making this up, "Twurch of England." It is for the the bishops and clergy and...the clergy and bishops of the CofE. This caused our friend to mount a small revolution. #reformthetwurch.

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Passover starts at sunset on Monday and runs through the remainder of Holy Week, ending Monday. The Computer Science Department at the College of Management in Rishon-LeZion, Israel, has a novel way of commemorating.

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The winners of the Washington Post Peeps Show 2010 have been announced. See the winner and finalists here. It is not too late to help the Washington Peep-Thedral: a house of prayer for peeps, become the Peeples' Choice winner.

Go to the Peeples' Choice voting site here or by clicking the link at the upper left of the page of winners.

Vote for your choice (we hope the Peep-Thedral) and click Submit Your Vote.

Go Episco-Peeps and fans!!

At first it was just a shell of a notion, but it's beginning to crack into the ranks of Sunday School rooms and homes where Christian formation is taken seriously (but not too). And, it can be laid down with little in the way of eggspence.

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There's an old tradition amongst the Orthodox Churches of sharing jokes during Easter season in honor of the great "trick" that God pulled on Death in the resurrection of Christ. Perhaps this story can be read in that light.

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File the following under wearing your heart on your sleeve: from noted blogger Lionel Deimel, a line of "No Anglican Covenant" themed merchandise: shirts, caps, tote bags, bumper stickers ... even an apron:

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We don't actually have a "news of the weird" category here at the Café, but if did, this story would qualify:

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One of my pastoral theology professors used to say that one definition of ministry is "to be nibbled to death by ducks." Of course, that goes back to Eric Sevareid (if not before), and he was speaking about network executives, but that doesn't make it any less true.

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Irony and misspelling in the corrections department at the Grey (or is that Gray with an "a"?) Lady last week in its coverage of the now-infamous news flash that Christians might not be the most educated about religion:

An article on Tuesday about a poll in which Americans fared poorly in answering questions about religion misspelled the name of a beatified Roman Catholic nun and Nobel Peace Prize winner. She was Mother Teresa, not Theresa.

We're the last folks to add to other publications' miseries, and we sure like the New York Times, but the inelegant contrariness of it all has us cackling.

h/t The Atlantic Wire and, originally, @ifnotwinter via Twitter

Since we're only a few hours from the commemoration of Francis of Assisi, here's a gentle and furry reminder to stop and give thanks.

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Can you say the word “breast” in a sermon? If so, how often?

When trying to keep a congregation’s attention during a long homily, how much disrobing in the pulpit is too much?

And what is the deal with communion tablecloths? Can they be used for anything besides communion — say, as props or costume accessories?

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CNN did an excellent little story on Joe Alonso, head stone mason at Washington National Cathedral. Have a look. Then take a look at what Jay Leno did with it.

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By now the Wise Men may have appeared at the back of your local parish's sanctuary, but they've got a lot of miles to cover until January 6th. What better way to feed them than with an edible setting of the Nativity? (Warning: "sacra-licious")

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Bryan Stone of Boston University School of Theology has reworked 'Twas the Night before Christmas into a Postmodern version:

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Is this familiar? Thanks to Dave Walker at Church Times.

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Revised. We can't record Jim Naughton's voice on your home answering machine, but can you guess which of these stories are April Fool's pranks and which ones ought to be?

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How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how much they liked the old one better.

On Friday, Elizabeth Drescher writes, #AnglicanRulesForTwitter was born.

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Paramount Pictures is said to be pushing this clip of Justin Beiber and friends praying over pizza to promote Beiber's new movie, "Never Say Never."

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Oh, but wouldn't it be nice if it were true!

Jesus Demands Creative Control Over Next Movie
From The Onion

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From vårtland kristenliv reports on an attendance plan for the Norwegian church:

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And in the news of the church division:

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A wedding spoof meets an unhappy Rector...the power of prayer...hoping lightning doesn't strike twice...and the best seder in the USA.

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Dave Walker, cartoonist at The Cartoon Church and Church Times (CoE) asks, "Am I too kind to the church?"

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Writing for Religion Dispatches, Sarah Morice-Brubaker argues that as citizens we have a perfect right to tell other citizens what to do with their bodies, especially if what they are doing goes against God's design, and is likely to cost us money.

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A bit of humor and truth floating around the blogosphere in comic form:

God for President?

Found on on Andrew Plus and "Of course, I could be wrong" among others.

Thanks to someone's sense of humor and the viral nature of social networking, adherents and aficianados of the Myers-Briggs indicator inventory now have a way to pray. It turns your "type dynamics" into an intercession of mercy upon oneself ... or the rest of the world.

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Swedish lexicographers take note: We here in the U.S. often and carelessly use the phrase "practically a religion" and apply it to ideas that could never actually be a religion, but that for whatever reason are highly regarded by certain persons. Now, though, when referring to the practice of file-sharing, please remember to preface the term with "the religion of." Or, if you like, just Kopism for short.

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From email:
Lent Madness 2012 Announced

The third annual “saintly smackdown” begins February 23rd

Lent Madness pits holy saints against one another in a battle to win the coveted Golden Halo. But it is more than that: Lent Madness is really an online devotional tool designed to help people learn about saints. The competition begins on Thursday, February 23.

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The bookies are already setting odds on who might succeed Rowan Williams as Archbishop of Canterbury.

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